May go to Houston for my friend’s b-day. Although, I’m broke. So most likely not. Rainy rainy days. Spent way too much time registering everything for the online promotions to start rolling soon.

“I was taught to respect all people until they give me a reason not to.”

–

Song idea #68
I never said that I love you,
And I’m sorry that I loved you.
When we meet, I think I’ll say it.

That I love you, but we know it.
That it isn’t really true.
We always hoped to be one of the few,
that would miss our cue.

This is done, it’s already been done.
We know your fucked up,
but we don’t care if your fucked up.
Because everybody’s fucked up

Let’s walk to another room,
and whisper that I love you.
I’m sorry that I loved you.
When we meet, I think I’ll show it.

That I love you, but we know it.
That we can’t seem to fake it.
That it wasn’t ever true.
You always hoped to be one of the few,
that would be hurt, too.

This is done, it’s already been done.
We know your fucked up,
but we don’t care if your fucked up.
Because everybody’s fucked up

We know your fucked up,
but we don’t care if your fucked up.
Because everybody’s fucked up

We know your fucked up,
but we don’t care if your fucked up.
Because everybody’s fucked up
This is done.

It’s easy to speak, just open your mouth.
I wish to hear your voice.
That beautiful sound, that is your soul.

Lets be profound.
Lets renew your life.
Even if you’ve been stranger,
than you’ve been before.

It’s easy to speak, or so they say.
But I wish to hear your voice.
That beautiful sound, that is your soul.

Let us indulge.
Lets renew your life.
Even if you’ve been worse,
than what’s been said.
Even if you’ve been apathetic,
to those around.
Lets make new dreams,
and forget about the nightmares.

For all I wish to hear is your voice.
That beautiful sound, that will renew my soul.
To speak soft, to know who’s in control.

RIP MightyWaveII, same goes to you SpongebobI. I have to get a new phone/plan. I’m thinking Verizon, but I can’t decide to get a smartphone plan or to be a cheapass. I should get a weekend job and go with the smartphone plan. Gamestop, I hate you – but I’m coming back. I need monies.

Went to the Revel, only real highlight was Tower of Power and face painting. I love me some funk and soul music. I like your laugh, but I think your shy. I would like to learn more about you, although I don’t really see anything in the future. You just seem to interest me.

Rule #32: Enjoy the little things. Although, Rule #2 is the most practical in all situations.

p.s. Learn to shut the hell up at times, you say some of the stupidest things.

–

I grew up in a religiously conservative environment, and I failed to consider the personal and societal consequences of the doctrine I followed until I entered Centenary College’s Christian Leadership Center (CLC) and Religious Studies Department. During my first semester of CLC, I interned at the middle school ministry of my home church, a Southern Baptist Church in Bossier City. After working there for a short period of time, I learned from the youth director that I was forbidden to teach Sunday school, because the Bible states that women cannot educate men over the age of 13. His beliefs angered me; at this point, I realized that I did not did not know much about the religion I followed. I based my “faith” on doctrine and dogma that I never questioned. This naïveté disappeared when I began to academically explore the academic study of religion and began a new internship at Shreveport’s Community Renewal International (CRI), a faith based organization that seeks to build sustainable communities through mutually enhancing relationships.

Within the first two weeks of volunteering at CRI, I was exposed to a way of life that I never envisioned. The children that I tutored read far below grade level. Many could not do simple arithmetic, and others struggled to write a basic sentence. This lack of educational ability astounded me. Students in my home neighborhood, which is only ten miles away from the CRI community, exceeded all educational expectations. Why did this inner city neighborhood have so many young people who lacked basic educational skills?

Although I had no adequate answer, I noticed that children and adults who stayed involved with CRI for an extended period benefited greatly. The organization provides a place where individuals from all socio-economic strata can communally interact. CRI’s philosophy calls for all individuals to work together to promote true egalitarianism. For instance, a middle class person may assist an impoverished individual to rise out of destitution through education. Just as importantly, the impoverished individual teaches the middle class person to rise out of materialmediocrity. Both equally promote significant change within the other. Before working at CRI, I never witnessed communities or individuals function in this manner. It was not until I integrated this information with the knowledge that I gained from studying religion that I began to understand the connection of CRI’s philosophy and the Message of Jesus.

Susan Brayford, my professor in the class Introduction to Early Christian Literature, encouraged me to read a section about the kingdom of God in The Meaning of Jesus: Two Visions by N. T. Wright and Marcus Borg. While reading and discussing this theme, I realized that Jesus’ kingdom is not a millennial monarchy that will occur after God destroys the earth. Instead, his vision of kingdom refers to a perception of the here and now. It is appropriately “at hand.” Ultimately, the kingdom of God starts with the realization that current global and societal systems promote inequality and exploitation for the majority of those who live within it. The kingdom that Jesus advocates calls for humanity to live and act in a manner that promotes peace, equality, and love for all people, especially those who suffer under the current system. Yes, the message of Jesus calls for the renewal of our hearts, but it also calls for us to change how we communally interact with one another.

In this system, I serve as an advocate for those in need, because I am now able to discern when systematic as well as individual power structures negatively exploit persons and communities. However, this ability often causes me to focus too much time and attention on the problem, and not enough time seeking a solution. By studying at Iliff, I hope to enhance both my Centenary education and my mission experiences by learning specific the means and methods of finding and implementing solutions. I am inspired and encouraged by Iliff’s concentration on what I consider Jesus’ most important message, social change.

Our lives are called to something greater than monetary security and material happiness, and I believe that as followers of Jesus, we must devote ourselves to building the kingdom of God. If this kingdom’s purpose is to promote peace, equality and love for all people, especially the poor and oppressed, then I must seek out the best course of action to accomplish this objective. I want to actively engage in building the Kingdom of God through academic study. I want to understand how societal systems function and often fail at a local, national, and global level, and I want to analyze how Christianity has and currently interacts with these societal systems. By understanding Christianity’s function within a systematic context, I will be better equipped to envision rejuvenation and sustainable change in a misguided, materialistic society.

My experience and research has shown me that the equity gap is the most devastating divide of my generation. Studying the economics of global poverty, participating in mission work, and volunteering at Community Renewal International has opened my eyes to great inequalities that this gap promotes. I have come to realize that oppression is more often a result of imposed poverty than a lack of resources and individual laziness. What astonishes me most about this global issue is that humanity possesses the means to fix this disparity between rich and poor, but few choose to sacrifice. In the case of Haiti and many other third world countries, financial institutions such as the International Monetary Fund and the World Bank help perpetuate the cycle of poverty through a debt and re-debt cycle. These financial institutions offer money to developing governments and impose conditionalities on the country’s imports and exports, making it impossible for the poor of the country to accumulate wealth, and it greatly widen the already present equity gap. In fact, the societal disparity that I witnessed during my trip to Haiti surpassed any previous instances of poverty that I observed because there was a blatant disparity between rich and poor and an extreme lack of infrastructure.

What I saw out the bus window on the ride from Port Au Prince to Les Cayes seemed like a cinematic account of structural and human degradation. Six to seven foot trash piles lay all around, and the housing had not been updated since the early 19th century. Pregnant women labored in a chicken infested courtyard, and the hospital needed basic medical materials such as syringes and band aids. Although the poverty I witnessed in the city of Les Cayes appalled me, I observed the most significant form of exploitation when I entered the orphanage. The hopelessness of the country permeated through the transparent faces of the children that I met.

In college, I focused on learning for the sake of making the perfect grade. However, when I saw the eyes of a starving, malnourished Haitian boy staring at me in complete despondency, I realized that education only becomes valuable when it provides a mean for social transformation. Through my Centenary education, and my hands-on experience at Community Renewal International and in Haiti, I have felt spiritual and vocational transformation. No longer excepting religious doctrines in naïveté, I am hungry for more knowledge and practical skills to enact change in the world through the intersection of Christianity and society. I boldly believe I will help change the world, but I humbly recognize that I will fail without quality education and working alongside others who are passionately seeking after the same goal. The kingdom of God is here and now, and I will continuously strive to build God’s kingdom through education, community renewal and social change. To be admitted to Iliff community allow me to take my next steps in learning to empower and enact change in the world.

–

Today was long and a lot of work. Had a good meeting with some friends about how to plan for the future of that project. The theme for the full length and all the promotion behind this cycle is mighty waves or water, a metaphor for how life comes crashing again, again, and again. Which individuals either get swept away and are lost, or look at each event as a new beginning to rebuild their lives.

Gameplan for them for the next 12months or so.
1) Record the full length themselves.
2) Start up a video blog (thinking more of an artistic direction?)
3) Send off the record to be professional mixed and master.
4) Rehearse until they become a hungry force to be reckoned with when seen live.
5) Branding of their name.
6) T-shirt designs to sell early to build hype/help pay for record costs.
7) Release a digital free ‘EP’ Work on full length album art.
9) Setting up all social networks/web materials to follow the theme in design.
10) First show/CD release to be schedule in February with a decent sized act.
11) Do weekend touring for first 6 to 9 months. So the guys can keep their full-time jobs and build a draw in other markets.
12) After draw is established, go on tour to support another larger act.

http://docanddinner.com Goes up Monday, eeeeeeeeeeeeeep!

I am a man of my word. I hope I keep this mindset for the rest of my life. As I think it defines a part of me.

–

1) Woke up this morning at 4 puking my guts up.
2) Skipped all of my classes today, because I was still asleep.
3) Went to workout to make up for my lack of productiveness.
4) Deadlifted 286lbs for 5, meaning my strength is inching it’s way back.
5) Had a meeting with Sara for D&D. Newcastles and Margaritas!
6) Carved glaciers with my freshly tuned trucks.
7) Enjoyed the breeze in my hair, and the setting of the sun. Gave advice on a situation to invest in another life.

Seized the day? Check!

I really do hope that D&D grows into a well oiled machine that I can make a living off of. I haven’t felt this much passion for a project in a long while.

I laughed really loud today, I think it shocked some people. They all started staring, but it was well worth it. Enjoyed my conversation with Heaux and Trace today. We talked about things we hated and loved. Lessons we should of learned faster, because we knew better. You know the usual things that people talk about when they are trying to catch back up.

The sunset was quite an awesome site today, as I saw it driving over the Jimmy Davis. Reminded me of the last sunset before my brother left for Iraq.

I’ve become obsessed, I do believe.

Came home visited and loved on the family. Left for bike ride/longboard-sesh w/ Ste. I’m pretty sure I got up to over 30 mph on the board – bombing hills are fun (falling and scraping hands are not).

Really, females are not allowed to say that I am not awesome.

Gnar.

Seized the day? Check!

If somehow they are lenient he will get 5 years. Most likely he is going to be getting vehicular homicide. Meaning he will get 20-25, and die in prison/get out in his mid 70s. Fuck. I will never hear him play guitar, or witness him tell a story, again.

This was the first time I’ve ever seen a tear in my Dad’s eyes. It fucking destroyed me. My Dad honestly thought my uncle had kicked the habit, I could sense his feelings of being disappointed and longing to help his brother.

–

Reminder: Learn to fly/run from zombies faster.
AKA new fitness goals.

If the body and mind are aligned, there is no need for fear.

"You know a ton of cute girls.  Go out and touch them.  All of them!"

–

I think this is one of my few legit reasons why I do so horrible in school. It’s from my lack of sleep. That I stay up with my mother during her fits of anxiety driven insomnia. To pass the time instead of writing as I’ve done lately. I’ve started doing line sketches, again. It’s slowly coming back to me.